sometimes, new jersey.

i'm free from the downingtown boy. i dont really know what happened but it did. i've been attracting the jersey boys lately. and since that's where i grew up for the first 12 years of my life i feel like its one of them i should be with.

i'm just trying to love my life.

and send my old clothes off to heaven.

i'm lonley alot.

i know blue eyes get boring sometimes.

but i'll give you a thousand reasons that tonight; you should grant me this one wish.

"i don't ever want to see you again"

so the past week has been good i suppose.

thursday night i got really drunk and made out with this kid i've been talking to lately and now he's kind of blowing me off? whatever. i'm over it. not really but oh well i guess we'll see where it does. he's just really cute so whatEVERRRRRRRRR.

i'm really lonely right now. i'm still at school and all my friends left. i'm supposed to be going to downingtown this afternoon but now i'm told to go this evening at like 6. so it kind of sucks sitting around here all day without having anything to do. i got invited to kegs and eggs this morning but i know if i go i'll end up getting wasted and i won't be able to drive tonight haha.

so last night i was in my dorm hanging out with my friend andy and then i hear a knock on my door. it's my exboyfriend? first of all he doesn't live in my building, he's drunk, he can't give me a straight answer on how he got into the building or what exactly he's doing. it just really freaked me out cause he's been kind of creeping on me lately. and so i just started laughing cause it really was just ridiculous and then he yelled at me saying that i ruined his night and that i'm too difficult to talk to. he's the one who came to my room mind you.

i need to get out of this school why did i come here.

the bay area and back down.

i've been feeling very motivated today. i've read lots of articles on organic food for my argumentative paper, i've made a to-do list about all the shit i need to get done, i filled out my ticket appeal, i called my leasing office for next year that i've been putting off for weeks. i'm going to go look for a job on friday after class. i'm in dyer need of money, its the worst ever. my roommate is at her night class right now so i'm enjoying the peace and quiet and i can actually get work done without her fussing around.

back to work :(

all of the good that won't come out of me.

so i was in downingtown from tuesday til friday then i went home friday night cause i had a doctors appt. saturday morning. it was so beautiful on saturday! i hung out with jenna and kyle in peddlers village and took pictures of windmills and ponds. 

then i ended up going back down to downingtown..of course. so last night we rode around in the jeep with the roof and doors taken off. we went on a trip to wendys and it was really very peaceful. being out in the fresh air at night looking over the hills to the city and lights off in the distance, it was beautiful. especially since i was with two wonderful people.

today i went to brunch with max and his mom, brother, stepdad and brother ian. it was really nice i liked it. i felt very homey. then we went back to the house and put the jeep back together then we watched tv and layed in bed some more. i love my time there.

now another week til i can see him. i miss him too much. why do i miss people so easily?

it's such a big mistake lying here in your warm embrace.

my heart.

there are so many people that i miss. 

one i see tomorrow. 

one i see next week. 

i don't know who i miss more;

i know which 

one means more.

the west coast is to far.

i swear i'd treat you like a queen.

soo thursday was a little ridiculous. i got real drunk, i ended up in a making out three-some? with my exboyfriend close behind and bre's guy standing there too. yeah needless to say they weren't happy with that other boy who was kissing us. but chris is seriously freaking me out i've had enough of him. i'm glad he's going to be in colorado all week. he's becoming stalkerish exboyfriend like, it's creepy.

so my spring break has begun, it has been quite uneventful but relaxing i suppose. i've been doing alot of nothing. friday i was at my house and just hung out. 

saturday evening i went to downingtown to see max with lauren and kipp. we played pong as always and i smokeedddd oh no. it wasn't bad but it is very out of character for me, especially now i don't do that at all anymore! sunday morning, lauren and i made a trip to wawa for hoagies and then ate them with kitty cat crumbs. we all watched movies all day; pineapple express, some basketball movie, then after lauren and kipp left, max and i finished watching legally blonde and then some of van wilder. i was forced to leave because there was a snow storm coming, hence why i'm stuck in my house right now!

so friday i come home to find that my license suspension letter is in the mail and i was told by the court it would be gone for three months. i guess the court didn't know it was my second offense and i thought i was going to get off easy but the letter says its gone for 1 year. WHATEVERRRRRR i'm so over it i don't even care anymore i'm done.